Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
