Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I'm really busy with my period
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