she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize