Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
