I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
