why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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