But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
