U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Randomize
