No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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