Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
