you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Holy shit dude........stairs
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
