just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
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