and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
