At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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