don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Randomize
