don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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