Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
