Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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