Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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