its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
