trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
