i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
