I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
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