Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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