Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
