They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Randomize
