She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
i dont even know how to be here
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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