btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
