ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
