oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
