I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
