Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Shitshow foam night was such a success
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
