then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
