he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Randomize
