Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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