She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
