I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
