it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
