There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Randomize
