You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
