did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
