U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
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