Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
