Where are you?
In a non slutty way
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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