the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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