despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
