i'm signing you up for texting rehab
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
cat food counts as protein by the way
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Randomize
