By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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