what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I'm like, not good at living.
Randomize
