I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
